I don't know why, you probably don't either.?

It's been 15 years since I've been asking myself some similar questions but I could never find the answer, all I know is that I have to keep moving, life is complicated sometimes, very hard. Set a goal in your life, focus and make yourself proud. If you're happy then you're doing something good. And yes things will get better, don't look at the bad side, there's always a positive outcome no matter what the situation might be, keep God in your life and pray and trust me you will find your way.